OMG Corn On The Cob

When Mister Man first showed me corn on the cob, I shrieked in terror and hid in the furthest corner of my cage, the place where I go when something freaks me out, which is pretty much everything anyway. Then I watched Mister Man eat some of it.

Instead of a beak, Mister Man has teeth, which is like having a beak inside of your mouth, if that makes sense. Ewww gross, I know! Corn on the cob was an elating experience for his teeth, and after a few pokes of interest I knew what it was about.

These are the most gigantic seeds I have ever seen. They are sweet and delicious. Mister Man and I fight over the best ones. After he thinks we are done I am still enjoying some of the more tender parts.

I used to think budgie crack was the best thing in the world, but now I have my doubts. Corn on the cob is so amazing that I may need to change my priorities. Perhaps Mister Man knows some things I should find out about.

 

Papers

A significant part of my daily routine involves the chewing of various papers, and I thought it would be nice to review some of my favorites.

Newsprint – This paper has a savory richness, depth and flavor, with enough underlying acidity to keep it fresh and interesting despite its flat density and structure.

Paper Towels – A layer of sumptuous nuttiness enhances the complex, woven profile. A strong texture and concentrated tannins are balanced by the light lemony flavors and powerful aftertaste.

Cardboard – Its dry, slender yet concentrated palate has a weightless rigidity that echoes with eloquent earth tones and diesel oil flavors. The combination of grit and depth make it intriguing, taut and fresh.

Next month I will be reviewing strings, threads and fabrics, with a focus on jute.

Satori

I like to spend my day on a perch next to the window where I can preen my feathers and sing my songs. There is nothing in the world that makes me happier. I can grab a feather or two, make sure it’s perfectly aligned with the rest of my feathers, and then make some squeaky, chirpy sounds in between.

All of this I can do on one leg, after stretching out my wings on either side and fanning out my tail. I also like to grind my beak together, which is perfectly normal behavior for a parakeet of my demeanor and intellect. I can’t imagine a budgerigar parakeet who would not be absolutely content in this situation.

Sometimes the wind chimes accompany me in my extravagant etudes and commentaries. Other than that, it doesn’t take very much for me to be completely delighted. I like to believe that things will never change and it will always be exactly like this afternoon at the window.

Napping

Sometimes, when Mister Man walks into a room of the house, he can’t find me right away. He looks in my usual spots and then pretty much ignores me until I either start chirping or dive bomb him. Otherwise I’m quite happy taking little naps here and there.

It wasn’t always this way. In the past, Mister Man would come into a room and have to look everywhere until he found me, and I must admit, I am able to find some very crafty hiding places. One day I was missing for hours until I was discovered perched comfortably inside a lamp shade.

I mostly stay in my room even though I can go anywhere in the house. At night my door is shut so it stays quiet and safe and I can get a good night sleep, but I have no problem napping anywhere, any time of day. This is usually preceded and followed by eating and preening.

It takes me a long time to get my metabolism going after I’ve been sleeping, so I usually stretch for a while before leaving my spot. After that it’s anyone’s guess whether I will ever visit that same place ever again.

The Glass

Everything was going fine this morning until I tried to climb into Mister Man’s iced tea glass so I could drink what he had left in the bottom. Sure, it was easy getting in, but after a few sips I realized I could not get out!

When Mister Man came into the office and discovered me in my predicament, he took a few pictures of me struggling, which did not turn out very well because when I panic I am in a state of constant motion. As you can see, I am a little blur, helpless and stuck in a glass.

Even though he tried to tip the glass enough so I could get out from the top, my panic impulse made it impossible for me to function normally. I tried to flap my wings in the glass. That only got them increasingly saturated with iced tea and made Minter Man laugh more.

Finally, I was helped out of the glass by Mister Hand and sprayed down with some fresh water. I felt like one of those bugs that fall into a pitcher plant never to be seen again. Oh, the horror! The rest of my day was uneventful.

Fruity Pebbles

I have a new food in my feeding dish that Mister Man has been filling with multicolored pellets. They are supposed to be a healthy alternative to the calorie laden seeds that I am so fond of. So far, I enjoy the orange and red ones much more than the green and yellow ones.

I like to visit my food dish and pick up a pellet. I nibble on it a little and let the outside of it fall away to the bottom of the cage. This is because I am very used to seeds, which need to be hulled by my beak before I can eat them. I have no idea that I can eat an entire pellet.

Mister Man tried one of the green pebbles to figure out why I didn’t like it, and to him it tasted a little bit fruity. It was not like an actual ripe green lime but it had a nice sweet flavor that he will never forget. The other colors tasted about the same.

I have started losing a lot of feathers lately and my metabolism is out of whack. It is possible that I am experiencing my first full molt here, in mid-April as the seasons begin to change. I continue to zip around the office with my outstanding flight feathers.

Zipping

Today, I lost my seventh primary flight feather. I am officially 40% flight worthy and am approaching 50% flighted. I no longer flutter. I flit from place to place or, if you will, zip from perch to perch. Previously, I would flutter and could not gain altitude, which would require rescue attempts to get me up off the floor.

When Mister Man wakes up, he opens my cage and I zip over to his arm. From there, I climb over to his shoulder, his neck, his glasses and head. Sometime I zip over to the top of his computer and stare at him. It’s all about me being hungry. I’m not sure what’s wrong with him some mornings because he doesn’t seem to know I’m starving.

I like to sporadically zip from the computer keyboard to my cage. I can be placidly perching on the end of the keyboard and then suddenly zip to my cage. Then I zip to my branch, and from there to Mister Man’s head. My favorite thing to do is to zip in a complete circle around the office.

When I’m not zipping I am taking care of my feathers. My beak is perfectly designed to interlock each of the barbules on the pennaceous portion of my flight feathers. They are like velcro the way the proximal and distal barbules attach together, and I grab an entire feather in my beak and pull it though to zip it perfectly together.

 

Accessories, Part Six

As it turns out, paper towels are a great tactile plaything. I love to chew on them and stick my little talons into the fuzzy texture where they get caught and I am forced to do battle with the wild and woolly surface.

I love to stick my head into the folds of the material and dig into it. Upside down, I fall underneath, gripping the bottom layers with my beak and executing perfect back flips. Mister Man thinks this is all very cool.

Although the ingestion of paper matter could be a source of concern, it turns out that the pulp is basically harmless and could help to alleviate digestive issues. I like chewing on all kinds of stuff anyway because my beak is mighty and strong.

It’s nice that Mister Man can use the partially shredded paper towel to clean my cage every couple of days and remember to install a new one for me. Last week he forgot to put in a fresh one and I was really pissed off.

Swordfights

My newest fun thing to do is to engage in toothpick swordfights. Not only are the plastic toothpicks great to chew on but I get to battle with Mister Man as an equal, protecting my domain and heralding a new age of independence for Budgerigar parakeets worldwide.

My attack and parrying methods differ from current practice, but I am able to yield my sabre, riposte my opponent, feint with the purpose of provoking a reaction and lunge with valor and bravery. In my defense concerning point-in-line, I threaten my opponent’s target and slow the advance to delay the execution of his attack.

Like a pirate swashbuckling with another adventurous and brave swabber, I protect thine booty and avast ye, plundering and pillaging thou scurvy dog with no quarter given. I’ll parley thee a walk beyond the end of a ships plank to drown at sea and visit Davey Jones locker. Shiver me timbers!

Unlike Mister Man, I am nimble and quick. I climb upside down and with a back flip attack again and again. Ruthless in my endeavor, he is left haggard and defeated. It goes without saying that I am the winner and champion every time.

 

Breathing

We parakeets have been said to have nine lungs, but they are more like air sacs surrounding the body which are always ready to send oxygen to the lung area to create quick energy in the bloodstream. Think of it like a bellows sending air into a fire so it flares up and creates energy. That’s what my breathing system is like.

What I’ve got is a super efficient energy source, able to power my muscles for when I need to get out of trouble in a hurry. You have probably seen birds in the wild take off into the sky within seconds of being disturbed. That’s because our air sacs are totally full all the time and ready to send reserve oxygen directly to the lungs.

Because of this, it’s very easy for my breathing system to get clogged up, and when that happens I get sick. Any kind of fume or smoke, even cooking oils and dust in the air, can cause problems. I’m very lucky to have Mister Man let me stay in his office, away from the kitchen and the studio. I like to visit those places but I can’t stay too long.

It’s very unusual to watch me breathe because I alternate air sacs. While some air sacs are filling up, the others are exhaling, so there’s a constant cycle of air flow. It may look like I’m breathing very fast but things are actually under perfect control and I am ready for anything, especially danger and threats.